I was born, baptized, and raised Roman Catholic. My mama was religious, but my papa was not; My mama brings us all to Sunday mass but my papa was left at home. My mama prays with us every single day but without papa.

I never questioned why my papa was not religious and did not seem to bother. All I know was that even though he was not religious, he was a good father to us, and somehow professed that there is a God — he was agnostic, perhaps.

When I was in Grade 2, I had time with my guidance counselor, Ms. Elena Yee (God bless her soul). She asked me the usual question asked to young kids “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I replied “Ms Yee, I wanted to be a priest.” God bless my good soul for having this innocent decision when I was just 8 years old.

But when I was in Grade Six, I began to get interested in the metaphysical, the paranormal, the religions outside Christianity, the Occult, and the other worlds outside our world. This vastness made me rethink of my reality and made me question my existence, our existence. That in reality, we are just a spec of dust in this universe that bible stories or creation stories can’t justify.

Don’t get me wrong but I was told before by a religious friend that we should not be taking the Creation Story literally. The Holy Bible is full of stories with symbols, and it’s our responsibility with the intellect given to us on how to decipher the messages behind these stories.

Faith and Whys

“Who is the real religion? Aren’t religions just a result of cultural differences that lead to the same awareness? which leads to the same God?”

“Is there really life outside Earth? Are aliens real?”

“If Egyptian Magic was mentioned in the bible several times, Magic must indeed be real. Are there spiritual planes we are not aware of?”

“Who takes care of this planet? Why is the cycle of nature so precise? Do elementals really exist?”

“Is anyone really listening to my prayers?”

“Are prayers just the result of the Law of Universe?”

“When is the End of the World? Many people have already died before me. Is it really near?”

“How can we work with Angels to aid us with our lives? How can we meet our Spirit Guides?”

My questions about life’s mysteries are endless, and being a religious Catholic won’t help me in discovering the answers of my whys and how comes.

Being religious means being limited to a set of restrictions on religion. That if you are not with us, you are against us. That if you don’t believe like me, you are not with me.

I was part of a charismatic group when I was a teenager, and it was a part of my life story that I will forever cherish. I was full of the spirit, from the time I wake up to the time I sleep. I do nothing except praise. I stopped watching TV, stopped listening to secular music, stopped wearing black (because they said it was a color of darkness, and that God was light.) I was living a restricted and disciplined lifestyle, but I liked it anyway. I was contented and happy even when society thinks otherwise.

But I stopped and went separate ways with the group. Though Jesus is in my heart, I know that there is more to what I am believing and their set of rules. I was wrong when I said I was contented because I was not.

Journey to Discovery

In my journey of discovering the answers to my questions, I studied World Religion and immersed myself with their beliefs. And to be honest, as I search for answers, I got lost and confused. I wanted to just go back to my religious life but my mind has already been tainted with more whys. It’s like I have eaten the apple that Adam and Eve ate.

For how many years now, I have had encountered many faiths. I immersed myself by becoming a Born-again, a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Pagan, a Hindu, even becoming a believer of the other worlds. But through all these, I grounded myself to the promise that even if I go far, my faith is still with Christianity. My faith is still with Jesus Christ (Mighty is his name.) I will never compromise my Christianity in any way. It was not easy, but it was life-changing and interesting.

One thing that these religions have in common – all religions lead to the teaching of Love, and that most religions somehow originated from a single source that sprouted to become religions on their own. And that through these differences, we are bound to live a life co-existing with other creations of this universe.

My encounters with different faiths made me appreciate the uniqueness of their beliefs. Each of these religions taught me a thing or two on how to live my life pleasing to the creator.

There won’t be divisions of religion in heaven, anyway. And you won’t go to hell for living a good life but believing a different faith. It doesn’t make sense at all. In the end, when we die, it’s how we lived a fulfilling life and helping our fellows that matters, and not much on personal beliefs.

The Complexity of God

I may not completely comprehend God, but I know the higher energy or whatever you call him is here to guide us with our lives. I believe that God is out there, but his or her complexity is far from our human understanding. Even the gender of God I cannot understand. How does God really look like? Is he the usual White-bearded guy in a white wardrobe? or just a ball of bright light? Ah, I don’t know. All I know is God is there above and we owe our lives to him.

That’s is why I prefer being Spiritual than being religious. To cultivate my spiritual life than continue my whys without clear answers to my questions, because it will be an endless search and I had enough.

To Each His Own

For now, my belief system is a collection of beliefs from all that I find beneficial in my life. I still pray my morning prayers, but I also set my intentions to the Universe. I follow the holy commandments, but I also follow the wise sayings of the enlightened buddhists. I believe in God, but I also believe that there is more to human life and this Earth.

A lot of people, maybe including you, may say I am wrong with my beliefs, but this is mine, and whatever gives me contentment, even if it doesn’t make sense to others, won’t matter anymore.

I now understand my father even better. May his soul now in peace. I believe what I want to believe in, and you believe in yours, let’s just live ethical and meaningful lives, and respect each other and continue each of our own unique faiths.

May God gives us all our hearts desires.

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