I still remember the day when I was on my way to the city, exactly nearing the end of the bridge, I was so fascinated with my friends who are called by clients for their services. I was so much inspired and hopeful, then I asked myself “When will the day come when people call for my service? When will the day come when I am needed because of my capabilities? I hope I can be like them…” These questions kept on recurring and I always remained hopeful. But one day, I decided to take a leap of faith and started to do something that I really wanted. Like any other driven person, especially that I am using my own money to start something, the risk was high and was afraid to lose; but thankfully, I prosper.

I trusted the process. I started with very meager resources and accepted projects with minimal to no fees just for me to hone my skills and get into the industry, and I wasn’t complaining at all. I actually had fun doing things I love. I had fun clients asking me for help and solving it for them.

So you ask… What is the process?

In Psychology, they call it Dopamine. It is a chemical in your body that acts as a reward center. It makes doing the hard things pleasurable because you know that in the end, you will be rewarded.

Which is definitely true. Being dedicated to the things you do always pays off.

One time when I was in my city condo, I was looking outside the window where an on-going construction was taking place. For months, I watched it from ground zero until the building was erected; it was a year in the making… but when it was still ground zero, and I was looking at the workers, I felt that it was hard to construct a building.

With all the mason works and the heat of the sun, it must be very exhausting. Every day I look at them dig, carry cement, do wire works and all… it was such a messy scene, and I can’t figure out how they do things… but days and months passed by, a majestic construction was erected. Just like that.

What I realized with this is that it will always look and feel impossible at first, there will definitely be a lot of trial and error, but if you are consistent with what you do, you will always get there.

Just trust the process.

For now, I can’t say that I have already made it but I am proud that, at the very least, I can say that I am thriving and starting to feel the rewards of my perseverance.

For me, there is no other way but to move forward.

Just keep going, my friend.

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You give, but receive less. You give, but you are appreciated just for that moment. You give, but you’re still the last on the list. Don’t worry because I feel you. When your love is not reciprocated, you feel empty. You start to question your worth. Is it still not enough? Am I not enough? So, you continue to give your love, until one day you suddenly realize, there’s nothing left for you anymore. When all you ever wanted was only to be loved in return.

Love passionately, but leave some for yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be drained with doubts of your worth just because you loved too much, you gave too much, and you allowed yourself to be treated as an option for too long. If you have been treated this way, leave without the need to explain. Regain yourself and give that unrequited love you have given away just for yourself. For now, you are your own priority.

But just because you gave in and experience a rather bitter situation like this, please don’t forget to remind yourself that you are worthy to be loved as much as you love, and never regret the love you once give, because in life, what matters most is your generosity, and not what you receive.

My love, I pray that you will meet someone out there who will love you as much as you love them. To make you as part of their life, and their priorities. What is it in loving a person if you just put them on your bottom list? I hope someday someone will find you who will be happy to have you, who will be excited to see you, and who will put you in their plans and their future and make every effort to stick around.

You are worthy of a reciprocated love. Remember that.

If there’s one person who you will give your purest love first, this person should be you – the person who loves unconditionally and true. Invest in yourself first, not with the wrong people.

I hope you find a person that will treat you good and will understand and accept you for who you are, who will not take advantage of you and not question you for being you, and will accept you as you are without standardizing and judging you; and will love you without reservations.

But my dear, when you love, leave some for yourself because sooner or later it is when the well runs dry that you realize that there’s nothing left for you anymore, because you have given too much – of your time, of your effort, of your love – to people who you dearly love but take you for granted.

My love, I say this again, Love, but don’t love too much, and I hope that if you love again, love and leave some for yourself.

You are too full of love to be only half loved by someone.

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I have been through a lot of ups and downs too, and as much as I want to forget the downs, I rather reminisce on it and be thankful for the lessons it taught me.

We definitely envy those who succeed earlier than us, or those who are served in a silver plate because of generational wealth or because of mere luck.

We always tend to compare ourselves and question; but hey, it’s really okay to compare our lives to others, but never let it sink in to you, or else you will drown with your insecurities. If I am you, I rather make it as an inspiration and improve myself to succeed even with small steps.

Never envy people’s lives, just be happy for them because these people have their own sacrifices and success stories to tell too. And they, even without asking, should be applauded for a job well done. They are just like us who dreamt, pursued and eventually succeeded. They are winners, and we should be proud of them.

Whenever you know that someone else is being successful and reaching their dreams, rejoice and be happy for them.

Always practice rejoicing for others — whether you may be friends or not. If you cannot practice rejoicing and being grateful, no matter how long you live, you will not be happy.

I rejoice for you!

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After his call, my 20-year-old self innocently asked him “Sir, why don’t you accept the order? More orders, more money!”

He looked at me and replied, “Young boy, this is not about money. This is about protecting your brand. The reality is we can’t serve everybody. We just can’t accept projects just for the money. It’s not like that.” And that hit me hard.

He taught me this value that I still carry on until now.

In the corporate world, there will always be competition and politics. Competing with each other, and proving to the clients/ bosses who’s the best to make them look worthy than the other.

My point here is there will always be competition, and that is normal. But pulling someone down for your gain is not normal. Even so, as much as we fight for fair competition, there will always be these people, so all we have to do is to be vigilant and be on guard.

My wish to my fellow professionals: Stop unhealthy competition. There is enough for everyone. May we all make our hearts desire. 

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I was a school athlete as a Sprinter during Grade School and early High School, and have always been proud of that. Humility aside, my fastest record was 16 seconds for a 100 meter dash at 12 years old.

My childhood dream has always been an athlete for track and field, specifically competing for Running, and represent the country just like the athletes for SEA Games and the Olympics; until our family doctor advised me to quit due to medical reasons.

I miss the open lot at the back of Collegio de Immaculada de Concepcion where we used to practice every end of class. As the clock striked 4pm, it’s time to change and head to practice.

We, together with my fellow school varsity, felt entitled (in a good way) for being way too spoiled by Fr. Julian Hernando, SJ (then SHS-J – Ateneo de Cebu Sports Head) for giving us all we needed – from branded uniforms to branded running shoes, and overflowing supply of sports drink just for us to win and give glory to the school and St. Ignatius.

I visited once the new campus of SHS-J Ateneo where my 2 younger sisters also graduated, and I was happy to see a track and field oval named after him – The “Fr. Hernando Athletic Field”

I may not have continued what I always wanted when I was younger, but I will always love the field. I will always love running, the sweat, the discipline and the adrenaline to get the gold.

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As casual as it is said than done, there is a deep reminder to that phrase. Yes, let’s face the fact – You only have one life to live.

Reality Hits Hards

Sometimes, reality hits me hard when I start staring blankly at the ceiling, pinching myself and telling myself “tao pala talaga ako” (I am really human); adding to a bittersweet reality of “Kumusta kaya ako pag tanda ko?” (How will I be when I get old?) and “Mamamatay din pala ako at mawawala sa mundong ito.” (I will also die and get past this world.) These thoughts in my head running in circles reminding me that I am temporary in this world.

Though I am not afraid of death, I am afraid of not achieving what I want to achieve, and not to be able to give back given this lifetime.

Superstitiously, I hurry to look for a wooden surface and knock on wood to avoid bad luck. I calm myself with the assurance that I am going to be alright. Now, I am back to reality – with a deeper purpose.

Life is not fair

Life may be unfair, but there isn’t much we can do about that. Some people were born prosperous, while others were born with just enough. But this isn’t an excuse to live with just a mediocre life.

My pet peeve – Never blame your parents for who you have become. Though parental support is important, they have already given their part to give you life. Your parents will keep on providing until they can’t anymore (but hoping they still can). If there comes a time that they can’t anymore, find a solution together than putting them to blame.

Who you will become is your responsibility, explore this world until you finally find your purpose and live it with excitement because #YOLO.

Also, we are so busy growing up and distracting ourselves with selfish ambitions, while we tend to forget that our parents are getting old too. Have you been giving back to your parents lately? Because if not, you should start now.

Love Yourself More

At the end of the day, you have no one but yourself, so better take care of yourself and be decisive with your plans in life; Yes, I am a big fan and as Lady Gaga would have said in the prelude of her Marry The Night music video “I’m going to be a star. Because you know why? I have nothing left to lose.”

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When we were younger, our parents and teachers discipline us through the concept of Delaying Gratification. Remember the time when your parents won’t give you your candy if you haven’t cleaned your room? or challenged you to buy you your favorite toy if you get good grades in your test?

I remember one time when I was in Grade 5 and was chosen to be one of the finalist for the school’s “Battle of the Brains” in SHS-Ateneo de Cebu. 3 of us were chosen to compete for the class. We weren’t the kids from the “smart section” so we didn’t mind if we win or not, but we prepared and studied basic knowledge of a few subjects.

My papa challenged me that he will reward me with 5,000.00 pesos if we won champion. I was aiming for the money, so I tried to do research. I thought for a while “Does he really think we won’t win that’s why he’s rewarding me with that big money?”

Long story short, we won champion. The fifth grader me got his cold 5,000 pesos cash. A huge money for my age. My papa dropped his jaw when I showed him my gold medal when I went home. “We’re Champion. Give me my money!” I teasingly told my papa. It was during that time when I valued more the reward system. At first I really didn’t mind, but when my papa offered me a reward, my focus changed – and it was a good feeling. Having something after a job well done.

When I grew up and earned my own money, I honestly lost that concept for a while. It’s easy to buy things or do things if you earn your money. You all have the freedom and the control, which makes it hard for discipline. As I grew older and my priorities and responsibilities have changed, I started to revisit this concept, now with a defined term – Delaying Gratification.

It was hard at first, but as soon as I try to discipline myself with this concept of “Suffer now, Enjoy later” concept, I felt challenged in a good way. That I know I can afford it now, but I will wait for the right time for me to enjoy it. It was a struggle until it became a habit.

I always reward myself for every finished projects or assignments I do. Maybe a movie at the end of the week, a weekend trip or dine in a good restaurant. It is always a rewarding feeling that for every stressful week or day, and as soon as you finish your work, you give yourself a pat on your back, treat yourself and say “I deserve this.” But with caution that you don’t over limit how you treat yourself. Treat yourself in moderation, because Discipline comes in pairs.

But I can’t deny that I sometimes struggle from it. I occasionally do things in a single whim just because of an unwanted day – we’re humans, we also have days when we are down – but every time I feel blue, I always promise myself to go back on track. That’s the important thing – to always get back on your focus.

We’re not late to change for the better. Delaying Gratification thought me a lot about self-discipline – the most important ingredient to success as told by a number of successful leaders. Change your focus to be better. You can do it.

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The following copy is bought from SunStar Philippines through Pressreader.com for $1.00.

Thank you SunStar Weekend for having me in your ECQ April 25, 2020 issue.

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I have read of stories about God’s wrath in the Bible, and watched historical documentaries about past pandemics, but I have never imagined that I will experience similar episodes in my lifetime; though I am thankful that my family and I are far from sick. Far from the gore photos and clips shown in the documentaries that I have watched.

Being an ambivert, I am comfortable being at home, but my outgoing personality weighs more than my being introverted, which made me want to go out of the house at the early weeks of the Community Quarantine, and having “food delivery” as my reason for going out of the house. I drove from Lapulapu City to Tisa, Labangon with an estimated 12km distance and one hour drive just to buy Siomai, and deliver it to friends.

But as weeks passed and the infected cases multiplied, it hit me with reality that this crisis is real, and decided to Stay at Home.

Here are some of my realization while I am on quarantine.

Our Inner Self

There is a greater world inside of us than the distractions we find on the physical world.

Reading news of blame game, power tripping and a fraction of the majority struggling to survive drain my energy, and this made me decide to filter information from social media, because as much as I want to avoid negativity, I still need to be informed of what is happening around me.

Due to all the noise, I have protected my personal space, and created a barrier, a limit. Meditation, Self-talk, Conversations to my ancestors (spirit guides) and the divine make me feel better amidst this crisis. I close my eyes, breathe deeply, visit my inner world and listen to my inner voice. It changed my perception of life better.

Contentment

I have always been a minimalist, in my life and work. I have this understanding that “Life is difficult because we make it difficult.” Every morning this ECQ, I stay at our veranda to have my cup of hot coffee while watching the trees sway with the wind and the chirping of the birds. I notice that the trees and birds follow the course and survive the basic provisions of nature, it’s their daily cycle – and they survive. While we, people, tend to complicate our lives with the lack of contentment, creating problems because of our own doings. Wanting to have more when we can live our life fully with only our basic needs.

This ECQ, I have valued my life more, that my basic needs is more important than my wants. That I can live in simplicity, with the hope that I will be abundantly provided through hard work and faith. Though there is nothing wrong to thrive for more, what is wrong is when we fail to appreciate what is served in our already full plates.

Live Your Best Life

After this ECQ is over and when we go back to our daily lives again, start living your Best Life. Become the better person, be empathetic than ever before. We have been given another chance to live, so let’s make it our best. Do the things you have always been wanting to do, and do it with zest. Be a man for others and have a heart that is ready to give.

In the end, what matters most is how you have influenced people to do better and impact their lives for them to be better people.

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We grow up and become what we envisioned ourselves to be—doctors, lawyers, architects, engineers, artists, et cetera. And there are also those who rebel and do the opposite of what’s expected of them—they do this, they do that, they do a little bit of everything. Often they are called the “Jack of all trades.”

There is no doubt that it feels good every time people compliment us for being good at everything. “Wow! You’re so multi-skilled!”“How can I be like you?”It feels great every time we are seen as somebody who can do a lot of things and knows a lot of things. But most of the time, it comes with a price.

We can’t avoid it. There are some people who look down on the well-rounded. To them, we’re known as the “Jack of all trades but a master of none,” implying that we’re not good at doing a specialized task. We then doubt and question ourselves: “Am I really good enough?” Yes, you are good enough. Being multi-skilled is a gift, and never doubt that. It will be overwhelming at first, but as you continue the journey to self-discovery and finally know what you want, then being a Jack of all trades is absolutely fine. We can’t blame these people for looking down on us, so in a way it is also constructive feedback for us to assess what we really want to accomplish in life.

Growing up, I always wanted to become a national athlete. That’s all I ever wanted to do. I was part of the school’s track and field varsity that competed in local and national competitions. That was my dream. But when I had my appendectomy and was not allowed to run for some time, I was forced to withdraw from the varsity team. I felt bad thinking I would never achieve my dream of representing the country. So I had to do something else.

I explored my other interests and was brought to the arts. Since then, I have dabbled in anything—theater, TV, film, creative writing and other artistic endeavors as I bid goodbye to my dream of becoming a national athlete. I was left with no choice but to take another direction. When I graduated from college, I worked as a writer despite my doubts if I was really good at writing.

In my journey to rediscovering myself years ago, I met a lot of Jack of all trades. Some are still in the process of discovering themselves, and there are some who are already successful individuals. I have a friend who is good at a lot of things, too, from table set-up to dress making, cooking and interior design. She also told me that she was clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Then she found her love for chocolates, focused on it and started a business with it. Now, she is known for her chocolates and continues to do things she loves.

One day, over hot chocolate, she told me: “You’re a good communicator and a likeable guy, so why not start your own PR & Events team?” I was hesitant at first, doubting (again) if I could ever pull it off, even if my friends think highly of my public relations and events management skills more than my writing. Then it hit me. Maybe the reason I can’t move forward is that I am not doing what I am designed to do.

So I took a leap of faith and started my humble PR & Events team. At first, it was daunting to run a client-based business, but it went well with God’s grace and everything has been okay for three years now. I have a team both in Cebu and Davao handling marketing and events projects where I still get to practice my other interests in the arts. It feels really good to do the things I love. And being the Jack of all trades that I am, I just earned my certification in culinary at the International School for Culinary Arts and Hotel Management (ISCAHM Cebu Branch). As they say, life is a continuous learning process. I am excited on what will spark my interest in the years to come.

There are so many of us in this world—so many of us searching for what we really want to do with our lives. We may be judged for being “lost” and doing a lot of things and mastering none, but don’t feel bad. We are all designed differently, and in this ever changing world, being a Jack (or a Jill) of all trades is perfectly fine.

This is a published article in SunStar Philippines Youth Section

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